Caution! Don't Read This! Time Waster!

Maggie is thinking about homeschooling, and typical of me I troll the internet for thoughts about the subject. In doing so, I stumble upon this blog. And this quote, by Stephanie Waldron, emphasis & pictures mine:

"I used to be so involved in unschooling discussions. I used to debate. I used to share my political views. I used to talk about parenting respectfully and I used to just be active online and in person. I used to promote my thoughts and opinions.

Then....peri-menopause hit me like a two ton heavy thing. Also life has thrown lots of punches in the last few years.

Now I'm just some crazy whacked out hormone imbalance that can't get it together anymore. My emotions are all over the map and I can't seem to pull myself together.

I used to be so strong and confident and determined. Now I feel weak and down. I don't want circumstances to beat me down. They are and I don't know how to stop them.

I don't know how to get out of this funk that I'm in."

I know how this lady feels. What the hell happened? It's like you're forging ahead with life, getting things done, raising your kids, loving your husband, and suddenly the light turns off. You're standing in the dark, not knowing which way to turn. Every damn thing makes you want to cry.  You can't make decisions, can't think straight.

I hate it. 

In the midst of it all, I've worked a few jobs out of the home and have been moderately successful, but in the end, I wanna come home. I've been a stay-at-home mom for over 30 years. It's what I do. But some stupid inside voice taunts me with insecurities, guilt, second-guessing, failures, if-onlys and what-ifs. Do I fight back? Hell yeah, like a ninja, (Justin) but I still cry.

I know, I know, there's help for that you know. But I am very, very cautious about messing with hormones. If I am consistent (ha!) {Wait. Who said that?} with some natural hormone therapy, vitamins and exercise it helps, but the rip-tide is just under the surface, hidden, pulling.

But I'm still fighting:

1. I'm going to continue to enjoy my easy mornings of coffee, listening to and watching the birds as  the day comes. When I'm ready to get dressed, I will.

2. I know that I know that I know my God loves me no matter what and that fills my heart and helps me fight.

3. I'll go hiking whenever I want to. Or not.

4. I'll stand in one place in the woods for 5 hours and take 555 pictures of the same bird. (Look at this one! See?)

5. If I want my life to be bossed around by Robins wanting mealworms NOW, fine. "Chir-d-lurp!"

6.  I'm proud of the fact I've successfully raised 7 great children and 3 great step-children with my 11th child still in the process. Homeschooling for 17 years. Even though sometimes I only feel qualified to raise puppies.

7. I still see God's beauty in everything I look at. There is always something good.

8. I will continue to be adventurous, spontaneous, unpredictable - in a good way. Let's Go!

9. Yes, after 15 years of marriage, I'm still crazy in love with my husband Al, and love it when he wears tight jeans. And boots. Yikes.

10. I like me. Yes, I'm fatter and slower than I've been in the past. But I'm funny, even if I'm the only one that gets the joke.

If you've read this far, I make no apologies, but probably should. Wait. No. I shouldn't. 

Stick around awhile, I can assure you it won't be boring.

 

Love.

Day 2, Bosque del Apache to Tucson

Bosque del Apache and Beyond

The day started out amazing with thousands of geese flying in the deep orange sky, but of course I missed the photo op because of the gawking I was doing.

We drove directly to the Flight Deck where we enjoyed early morning views of the cranes and a pair of bald eagles. Not to mention numerous birders.

Then we began the driving tour (did I mention it was COLD?) and were entertained by numerous Red-tailed Hawks, Sparrows, Juncos, hundreds of Pintail Ducks, Green-winged Teal, Juv Bald Eagle, Bufflehead and a passel of Bushtits.

 We arrived at the Farm Deck to thousands of Sandhill Cranes, Snow Geese and Ross's Geese, plus Vesper Sparrows, Meadowlarks.

 It was so incredible. If you watched long enough, you could actually pick out family groups.

Like this family of Snow Geese.

And this family of Sandhills.

And this family of Blue Snow Geese. (So beautiful!)

We stayed nearly 4 hours enjoying the spectacle, and for me to practice my birds-in-flight photography.

I obviously need much more practice.

 Then we visited the awesome Gift Shop and Store there and headed out our way to Tucson via Silver City.

We stopped past mms 53 on Highway 152 for some wake-up refreshment and spotted a bird! We were AWAKE!

We chased it for a bit, watching it rustle around just out of sight, but it finally revealed itself; Rufous-crowned Sparrow! Lifer! It was very fun to follow and ID this bird out in the middle of absolute nowhere in southeastern New Mexico. Upon further research after returning home, I learned that I had seen this bird in 1984 in Arizona when I lived there. Long enough ago to recount as a lifer, don'tcha think?

We motored on into a little town called Hillsboro where I saw a bird swoop by as we were driving, which turned out to be a Ladder-backed Woodpecker, a lifer for both! We got out and walked around adding another Rufous-crowned Sparrow, Phainopepla pair - lifers for Lauren, YB Sapsucker and Downy Woodpecker.

 Quite a nice interlude to break up a long drive.

Then we wound our way to Silver City, not seeing much else but being delighted and surprised by a Collared Peccary!

Winding our way out of Hillsboro, we startled a flock of Wild Turkey.

We stopped at the AZ NM state line. Last bird of New Mexico was our own Colorado State Bird; Lark Buntings. First Bird of Arizona? Lark Buntings!!  Then we stopped at a rest area and saw Says Phoebe, YR warblers, White-crowned Sparrows, Brewer's Sparrow and YH Blackbird. We hit Tucson by a little after 7 and enjoyed Lauren's 55th birthday dinner and bed! What a completely fabulous day. What would we find tomorrow in Tucson?